Making Trouble

In "War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning," Hegdes discusses the fact that war is often used as an antidote to loneliness and isolation.  By being involved with a force larger than ourselves, we are pulled out of our own private struggle into a collective, however negative that collective might be.

I agree.

I also think that we do the same thing in relatively smaller conflicts.  Often, we struggle and create small conflicts--whether it's a fight or just generalized grumbling--in an unconscious attempt to connect where there is little or no connection.

This is true in the middle school classroom as "troublemakers" light metaphorical fires in order to draw the teacher's attention.  It's also true with many adults, who would rather experience conflict than a cold, impersonal bureaucracy.

Of course, if we know that the conflict is being created to make a connection, a simple (although certainly not easy) solution to conflict might be to create positive connections and rituals.

Just a thought.